Couples in Good Relationships Sleep Better

come to think about it......this is sooo true....... WOW

Extremely true. My man and I wake up every morning with a "good morning baby" and a kiss, all well rested. Him and I are best friends and we talk about everything. We're honest and up front about everything. It's the best way to be in a relationship.

Sigh...I wish I had that!

@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

Oh, trust me, there are NO limitations here!!!! I will date ANY race of man that treats me the way I deserve to be treated! I would PREFER a black man, but if a White guy (or Hispanic or Asian guy) approached me in a respectful way and treated me good, then more power to them!

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

I know what you mean. I have the same with my fiancé, because he is a good man and not because he is Black. I've been with White guys before.. and I wouldn't say that the grass is greener because of it. If anything, the grass is greener because I've got a good man now.. when I didn't before. One thing that pissed me off when I was with my ex was that other black chicks would come up to me and ask me if it is true that White guys do the things that Black guys wont do, and if I think White guys are better, and if they should "upgrade" as well.

The ignorance of these women pissed me off because they didn't realize that a good man will be just as attentive, loyal and have his shit together and all of those other great things that other races usually stupidly and stereotypically associate with Whites, and not necessarily just a White man. A White guy is just that.. White. Nothing special. When I started dating my fiancé, I would have White guys coming up to me asking me if my man would do the things that they'd do, or if I had ever been with a White man as if there is some f--king difference between them and any other guy out there.. like they are some hot commodity or something. Or a Black or Hispanic guy asking me the same as if there was any real difference that would make me 'never go back.'

Anyway, as for the topic at hand, I would've thought that the better your relationship, the less sleep you get.. but yeah, I suppose that it makes sense as well.

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

You sound like a GOT DAMN IDIOT!!!

Like there are no black men that does that...like the only men on the planet that ask you "how was your day baby" are white....NEGRO PLEASE....

You insult ME and every other BLACK man on the planet when u say stupid shit like that.
Just by the handle you picked for yourself I serioulsy doubt that you have a boyfriend and if you do...you just named one of your fingers "BILLY" and go to work with that!!!

swtearl wrote:

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

You sound like a GOT DAMN IDIOT!!!

Like there are no black men that does that...like the only men on the planet that ask you "how was your day baby" are white....NEGRO PLEASE....

You insult ME and every other BLACK man on the planet when u say stupid shit like that.
Just by the handle you picked for yourself I serioulsy doubt that you have a boyfriend and if you do...you just named one of your fingers "BILLY" and go to work with that!!!

LOL , well if I was old and miserable and seen young folks living outside of the box, I'd probably say that too but really you're just wishing slavery wasn't in place when you were younger so you could intermingle as well. You are a grown ass man , another person's decisions or statements on who they're dating should not have you so disgruntle. You're no better than them 72 year old white men who still call black folks coloreds. When I date I don't see color but I can compare how I've been treated from pass dating situations. You being insulted by that is not my problem, IT"S YOURS! I've dated a variety of nationalities and white guys treat me better that's why I'm with one right now. Maybe I should come on here raging about my baby daddy sleeping with my cousin & getting her pregnant, that would be more sufficient right? If you disagree with me expressing how I feel I could give 2 stinky ones floating in the toilet after dinner. But if you disagree with inter-racial dating period, express it with a more intelligent perspective instead of embarrasing yourself like a grade school child calling names. I'm more than willing to discuss it in that manner if you like.

Awwwww shit.

*

Black Angel wrote:

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

I know what you mean. I have the same with my fiancé, because he is a good man and not because he is Black. I've been with White guys before.. and I wouldn't say that the grass is greener because of it. If anything, the grass is greener because I've got a good man now.. when I didn't before. One thing that pissed me off when I was with my ex was that other black chicks would come up to me and ask me if it is true that White guys do the things that Black guys wont do, and if I think White guys are better, and if they should "upgrade" as well.

The ignorance of these women pissed me off because they didn't realize that a good man will be just as attentive, loyal and have his shit together and all of those other great things that other races usually stupidly and stereotypically associate with Whites, and not necessarily just a White man. A White guy is just that.. White. Nothing special. When I started dating my fiancé, I would have White guys coming up to me asking me if my man would do the things that they'd do, or if I had ever been with a White man as if there is some f--king difference between them and any other guy out there.. like they are some hot commodity or something. Or a Black or Hispanic guy asking me the same as if there was any real difference that would make me 'never go back.'

Anyway, as for the topic at hand, I would've thought that the better your relationship, the less sleep you get.. but yeah, I suppose that it makes sense as well.

When one dates a variety (different races) of men, they can conclude in the end what they like as oppose to personality than race but in my situation it was the latter. FROM MY EXPERIENCE in dating all men I've come to MY OWN PERSONAL CONLUSION that I like dating white men better. That's it. There's no reading between the lines, metaphors or similies. Good relationships have nothing to do with race but I don't like to argue and have my position as an independent black woman challenged constantly. My last boyfriend who was black didn't like that I had an aggresive and ambitious personality and wanted me to be more submissive because he "wears the pants". That's bullshit! Most of the black men I've dated have had some sort of shortcomings that was eventually blamed on me. I don't mind the shortcomings but don't blame it on me because I make more or because I'm free to do whatever I want and don't have kids to watch. I just want to live my life and be happy, if that's with a white man then so be it.

I see what you're saying. I would LOVE to marry a black man....have black babies, continue the race of strong, black people.

HOWEVER....

My experiences with black men have all been bad. Men who use me for one thing, who are intimidated by my education or independence, who blame me for their problems, who run games on me...but you know? I am not giving up hope on my black man. I know one day, there will be a man for me (hopefully, he'll be black). But like I stated earlier, if a man comes up to me and he is another race and he treats me with respect, then I'm giving him a shot!

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:

Black Angel wrote:

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:@Missarcasm....psstt, over here. My current boyfriend is white and...... the grass IS greener. He's very attentive, open, reasonable (as far as arguments go) supportive, honest and has a great sense of humor. He picks me up from work with a kiss and "how was your day baby". Do you know how awesome that feels? I ain't saying all white guys are like this but it wouldn't hurt to expand your horizons girl.

I know what you mean. I have the same with my fiancé, because he is a good man and not because he is Black. I've been with White guys before.. and I wouldn't say that the grass is greener because of it. If anything, the grass is greener because I've got a good man now.. when I didn't before. One thing that pissed me off when I was with my ex was that other black chicks would come up to me and ask me if it is true that White guys do the things that Black guys wont do, and if I think White guys are better, and if they should "upgrade" as well.

The ignorance of these women pissed me off because they didn't realize that a good man will be just as attentive, loyal and have his shit together and all of those other great things that other races usually stupidly and stereotypically associate with Whites, and not necessarily just a White man. A White guy is just that.. White. Nothing special. When I started dating my fiancé, I would have White guys coming up to me asking me if my man would do the things that they'd do, or if I had ever been with a White man as if there is some f--king difference between them and any other guy out there.. like they are some hot commodity or something. Or a Black or Hispanic guy asking me the same as if there was any real difference that would make me 'never go back.'

Anyway, as for the topic at hand, I would've thought that the better your relationship, the less sleep you get.. but yeah, I suppose that it makes sense as well.

When one dates a variety (different races) of men, they can conclude in the end what they like as oppose to personality than race but in my situation it was the latter. FROM MY EXPERIENCE in dating all men I've come to MY OWN PERSONAL CONLUSION that I like dating white men better. That's it. There's no reading between the lines, metaphors or similies. Good relationships have nothing to do with race but I don't like to argue and have my position as an independent black woman challenged constantly.

Hey, like I said earlier, I understand where you are coming from. You've been around the block, and possibly, around the world, and found that you prefer White men. That is fine. I am just stating that I have had a similar experience and came to the conclusion that, I've no particular preference. Every race has its assholes. No reading between the lines. No metaphors. No similes, just fact. I have never, and will never be drawn to a guy because of skin color, because I am not a bigot, I wasn't raised to be ignorant, and I wasn't taught to discriminate by anything other than personality. I wouldn't want that being done to me, and so, I wouldn't do that myself.. but, that's just me. I am not challenging your position as an "independent black woman" and neither am I arguing with you, I am just simply stating my opinion, just as you have stated yours.

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote:My last boyfriend who was black didn't like that I had an aggresive and ambitious personality and wanted me to be more submissive because he "wears the pants". That's bullshit! Most of the black men I've dated have had some sort of shortcomings that was eventually blamed on me. I don't mind the shortcomings but don't blame it on me because I make more or because I'm free to do whatever I want and don't have kids to watch.

My last boyfriend was White, and his family didn't like that at all, but I said to myself, that I was dating HIM and not his family. I was going through a rough time at home, and he was there through that.. but then, once things got better, he started to change, especially as I became more independent. I had a social life outside of work, as did he, and yet, he didn't like that.

He would make condescending remarks about my job, despite the fact that I was making more than he was and made a lot of good friends from there. He accused me of cheating, when the irony of it all was that HE was the one who was cheating. I was faithful. He didn't like the fact that I had opinions of my own, and if I didn't agree with him and stated it, he would get pissed and say that it doesn't matter. He didn't care to discuss anything from an intellectual standpoint, or from any other standpoint for that matter (we wouldn't be able to converse back and forth, as you and I are currently.) all he would do is state his opinion, and he didn't care as to whether or not I had one or agreed with it. He wanted to have the final say and that once he had spoken, that was the end of the discussion. He believed that he was a "special kind of guy" just because he dated outside of his race. Big fucking deal. His family was racist as fuck, and they have stolen from me, claiming that I had stolen from them even though the one time I was at their house, was the first time I was at their house, when he wanted to introduce me to them, and I had never left his sight. Between that fact alone, and the fact that his family kept finding whatever excuse they could to come up to his room, and didn't leave us alone, made it that much more impossible for me to steal from them. However, even though he had not left my side even once, and I was never alone in that house, when his family made the accusations that I stole from them, he DID NOT defend me.

When they stole from me, all he did was buy me a replacement item for what they had stolen. He did not defend me even though he knew that it would be impossible for me to steal anything.. not only because I wasn't alone, but because I AM NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON. When I asked him why he didn't defend me, he said "there is no point to arguing with them, so just let them say and do whatever they want." It hurt because I felt that by his refusal to defend me, that he somehow thought that I did do it.. and I think that they picked up on it because they had even used it in their reasoning when they continued to accuse me. Later on in the relationship he had become even more emotionally abusive, and had threatened to hit me at one point.. and eventually he was cheating. I had already left at that point, but was so devastated at the possibility that I might of had something, and may have passed it on to my fiancé unknowingly, that I took an AIDS test. I know that there will be guys who are intimidated by a strong women, judging from your experience, my own, and others going through it, I can safely say that it occurs in all races.

But, you may be onto something when you said that the guy you dated before had a problem with it. There is the belief that Black men prefer White women because they are (from their perspective) weaker, and will allow them to get away with more, and won't call them on their bullshit like a Black woman would. So perhaps, that was this issue all along. My ex wanted someone who didn't have a brain, and was willing to be a doormat and when I was not that person and refused to be that person, things from point went downhill.

But, that is my experience, and personally, I don't care about race, if a guy has a great personality, sense of humor, is loyal and treats me with the respect that I deserve to be treated with, then I'd want to go out with them, regardless of their skin color. I got a lot of flak when my ex and I were together. I got it from Whites who either thought that I either had been given a membership to some exclusive club, where the grass is greener because I am on the White side of the fence, (in other words, now that you have "upgraded" you don't have to go back to the ghetto) and I got it from those who thought that I was another "nigger taking what was theirs and who should stick to their own kind." My favorites where those who would disguise an insult as a compliment as if I was too stupid to not have picked up on it second to them would be those who thought that because I was Black, that I was ghetto, had a bunch of kids, was on welfare, and was pretty much the embodiment of every other negative stereotypes about Blacks.

My ex, would actually have the nerve to ask me to play the role of the stereotypical project chick. He got off on picking arguments with me, and seeing me get angry and cussing him out or the idea of me fighting with some other chick over him. His sister, was caught in the park one day blowing some random dude, and when she was confronted, she said that it was because her brother brought home a Black woman. His family later on used that against me as well. I got flak from Blacks who either thought that I was trying to be White, (and the fact that they had already thought so because I chose to better myself, not become just another baby maker in the neighborhood.. so dating a White guy didn't help) or from aggressive Black guys who thought, that I thought I was too good to date a Black man.. The funniest thing of all, was the fact that those who had the balls to say this shit to me, were the same guys who paraded the White women they were dating, as if they were something special. These were those guys who would make it a point of dating every other race out there other than their own, but then have the nerve to have a problem when a Black woman is dating outside of their race.

ILikeWhiteBoys wrote: I don't mind the shortcomings but don't blame it on me because I make more or because I'm free to do whatever I want and don't have kids to watch. I just want to live my life and be happy, if that's with a white man then so be it.

I agree, and I think that is what we all want in life and it is a damn shame that here we are in 2009, and yet, this country, and a lot of its people are so fucked up about race. The 2008 presidential election proved that fact, and a lot of what is going today with the policies that Obama is trying to get going while in office. It is sad that we are so messed up about race here, whether you have some who will exclusively stick to their own race, and judge others for not doing the same, (such as those who think that there is something that a Black woman can offer a Black man who hadn't much luck in dating, as opposed to a good woman.) or those who believe that being with different races will automatically mean that their relationship is special or better. However, even though I know that every race has its assholes, I won't let a few of them deter me from being with one race or the other.. that kind of mentality can only lead to a lonely existence. As I said in my last post, the grass is greener because I am with, and engaged to a good man, when I was with an asshole before.