The Woman's Place

Do you feel that the woman has a "place" or a role in the relationship? Do you feel the need to be dominant or submissive in your relationship?

i dont believe the woman has a "place". i believe sense all women and men are different, people should do whats best for them. i cant say i am completely dominant, but i am definatly not submissive.. thats just not who i am. what works for me is equality in a relationship and compromise.

No women should have a "place" in a relationship unless SHE wants to be put in that "place". I wouldn't say I am dominant but sometimes when I tell my significant other to do things he does it and I wouldn't say I am submissive because we do things for each other.

From a mans point of view and a married mans at that that.....there is no PLACE!! Woman are and should be treated as EQUAL. Women should accept NO LESS THAN THAT!!!

I think that men and women have roles in relationships. I also feel that roles are based on personality and not gender.

Could you elaborate on your point, Divine?

I am better with finances than my husband, he isn't bad I am just better so I handle all of the bill paying.

My husband is more of a disciplinarian than I am so he handles that.

I am more loving, nurturing and supportive so that is my primary role

I am a better cook

My husband is very competitive and athletic so he is VERY involved in the kids athletic development, he attends all of their games and even coached one of their soccer teams.

My husband is a planner by nature, he is very methodical so if we are contemplating a major move then he will work out the logistics and I'll just offer input.

Does that make sense? Each of us have primary and secondary roles.

That makes sense. And when you say it like that, I agree. I also agree with everyone else when they say it should be equal. When you share different responsibilities (like you do, Divine), instead of someone doing EVERYTHING, in a sense, you have an equal relationship.

Well, I can definitely say that being submissive is not even in my vocabulary, if anything I would prefer us to be equal. However, my boyfriend does say that I am a little too controlling at times, so I guess that is something that I need to work on cuz this is not my first time hearing this. I have heard it from friends, family, and ex's. So yeah, I have some control issues that I need to get under control. Lol.

uhm....i think there are places...it would be like the way divine explained it...i think that ppl just when the word "place" is used defenses come up..there is in my mind nothing wrong with it. A mothers role is going to be different than a fathers role...a women's role is going to be different than a man's role. A man in my mind is meant to take the lead for a reason...two ppl cant drive bus car train w.e it doesnt work that way...if the womnen is the more "dominate" one...then guess what...she is the MORE dominate one...that means she is driving...that isin no way equal...bc someone will be ALWAYS be on top. And being submissive doesnt make you a slave either...another word that puts defensives up. That doesnt mean the man tells you what to do every becking moment or walks all over you and makes you his stepping stool. A man can be submissive to his women as well. So in all i do believe that there is a place in relationships as there is in EVERY thing else is life..whether it be work at church or w.e

Good points, Shadiq.

why thank you darling lol.....

Well in my long, long, long relationship there is not dominate or submissive ROLE. We ARE equal. You may not believe this but it has to be that way. I don't want her looking to me for anything and I don't want to look for her for anything.
I don't want the kids to grow up seeing one more dominate that the other because I feel that would have had an effect on their relationships.

But again...thats just me and my long, long, long, long relationship

but as your spouse...why would it be wrong for her to look for you for something or vise versa...thats what love does...and "long" relationship doesnt always account to anything...perfect example Joe and Kathering jackson. You can be equal as far ppl...bc no one is "less" than anyone and i dont believe that that is what having a place entails...

i have to disagree with shadiq. personally, as i said earlier, people are all different and what works for one couple is not necessarily goin to work for another. i dont think it is so much the words "place" and "submissive" put up defensesi people, i think it is more so the expectation that one has to be in a certain place or be more submissive because of their gender. i remember watching an episode of wifeswap where a mother who was a housewife and believed in the man taking the lead and the wife being submissive switched with a harvard grad working woman whose husband was a stay at home dad. i remember the housewife lady criticising the stay at home dad saying he was not a real man because he was taking on the "womans role" and that his wife wasnt a real mother because she chose to work, but being a stay at home dad with a working wife worked for them. this is why i say people have to do whats best fo them in a relationship, not expect people to take on a role based on gender.